Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

Anne Lamott is not a cheerleader, more like the Burgess Meredith with the water bottle and bucket in Rocky's corner between rounds -- I'm also guessing she wouldn't wilt if she had to slash your eye open if like Rocky it got sealed shut. She knows you are going to get hit hard, and she reminds you that you know it too. She tells you not to get distracted by that which doesn't matter to the process of writing. Much of this she learned from her father, who was also a career writer. He taught her it was the doing that mattered, not the surrounding mechanical functions that seem like they matter. What struck me repeatedly in Lamott's mini-lessons was her deep understanding of process -- that output of a work is not so much the full work itself, but an assembly of building blocks, one at a time, each a commitment, and only in totality something more. She does not advocate bonehead process or ridiculous formulaic mandate - this is not a how-to manual -- she just wants us to care about what we are doing and accomplish it in a series of heartfelt steps. There are no shortcuts, it's a little more each day, a continuum that adds up to a satisfying and cohesive whole. This is not breakthrough thinking, but it's a lesson we need to learn over and over, and it's not just about writing. Creative process is the heart of innovation. Think of all the elements that make the iPad great. If all the elements weren't great, it would not be great. Same with a restaurant menu and wine list. Same with an office skyscraper or memorial monument. Same with a short story, same with a novel. Summary impression rests in the details, all the many tiny parts or moments -- and all those details require hard thought and careful design. Lamott is smart about this, she tells you that getting it right is not going to happen out of the gate and unnerving strides at perfection can be your worst enemy. She has an excellent descriptor for the real quality of the first drafts to which we aspire. I'll let you discover that on your own so the word does not get scraped here. Her point is, just get the words out, work on making them better later, a layer at a time. She also allows us not to obsess unnecessarily with locking the full road map before we explore, because again that can impede our work. How far do we need to see ahead? "About two or three feet ahead of you" is plenty she tell us, quoting E.L. Doctorow: "..writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." She says this is "right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard." I tend to agree. There is tremendous empathy in Lamott's world view, she offers a sense of shared experience that is reinforcing and comforting. Lamott talks about the imaginary radio station playing in your head -- another colorful descriptor I will let you discover -- that tells us over and over again why we can't do something, why the work we are doing is neither good nor worth doing. Learning to turn off that radio is our key to moving forward, we all hear it from time to time, but when it becomes perpetual, that is when our ability to create interesting work stops completely. Lamott is just so honest and clear about all the factors that stop us from moving forward because she not only has experienced them, she continues to experience them. She does not position herself as a guru or weekend seminar success evangelist, but simply as someone who can reflect on problems of creativity because she deals with problems of creativity endlessly in her own life. She is even more honest in telling us that no one can make these problems go away once and for all, certainly not with any form of temporal success. All we can do is know that these obstructions will always be there, so we must embrace confronting them. Sometimes it really is good to know that none of us are experiencing roadblocks on our own, the fact that someone like Lamott tells you she is experiencing what you are experiencing is precisely the empathy that builds strength and resistance because the experiences are shared, bad and good. Her humility is reinforcing and refreshing and uncompromisingly inspiring. "Bird by Bird" is not a long book, it can be read if you wish initially in a single sitting, but it is the kind of book you will find yourself coming back to for this chapter or that, this phrase or that. Lamott writes with good humor, even when she tackles very difficult and personal matters of her own life and those around her. The more I think about her framework, the more I am convinced it is much more broadly applicable then perhaps she even considered. I see the guidance as useful in company life, in financial life, in family life, in political life, and in government life. All of these require effective process to get them right, there are no shortcuts, and the rewards can be the smallest where the challenges are the greatest. That does not mean the rewards aren't meaningful, but it is the context of those rewards and the expectations that one sets for success that truly inform us when we are steering toward a final draft. Review excerpted from my blog: [...]

Bird by Bird celebrated its 25th anniversary Dec, 2024. It's my first and favorite craft book on writing and the one I've shared with friends who've expressed an interest in writing. It's as much about living as it is about writing. Lamott's engaging, vulnerable storytelling, sense of humor plus her honest instruction make this book a must for everyone. It's a classic for a reason—even Ted Lasso referred to it! Lamott has given us mantras that I live by: "Keep your ass in the chair" in addition to the iconic title. She continues to inspire people world-wide with her activism, teaching, and writing. Synopsis: A non-fiction handbook to writing (and life), offering pragmatic advice and inspiration to aspiring writers through a personal and often humorous lens, drawing on her own experiences as an author. The central theme is to approach writing one step at a time, symbolized by the title phrase "bird by bird," which comes from advice her father gave her brother. Bird by Bird is a well-loved, often read classic!

When I was first assigned to read this book, I was very annoyed. I haven't read a single book since 6th grade and I didn't plan to ever again. In my mind, I thought reading was stupid and pointless. I was completely against the whole idea when our teacher assigned us to read "S***ty First Drafts," a chapter in part one. Wow was my mind completely changed. My whole life I've had to read books that were boring and didn't relate to me.This book helped me to understand my writing and how I should read others writing. I heard her voice so clear it felt like she was there, speaking to me. A book has never stood out to me like this before. Throughout hearing her life stories come many lessons, which let everyone relate to her life and writing. This book was not only interesting and helpful to read, but humorous. I caught myself laughing out loud once or twice. She shows that writing isn't always fun and games, and it can be quite hard sometimes. Regardless she shows you how to push through the tough times and make it to the end. One of my favorite quotes from her book is "I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.” This came from the "Perfectionism" chapter which made me realize how much our world pressures us to be perfect. This is just one of many quotes which opened my mind to what I can make my life to be, and my writing. I recommend this book to anyone who needs a good read or a little help finding their way in the writing world.

I’m on this rereading kick and also on a reading-books-about-writing kick and Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life, by Anne Lamott, heads the list. Part writing guide, part life coaching session, and part true confessions, Bird by Bird is a delight for readers and writers alike. One summer, Lamott’s ten year-old brother had waited three months to begin a project on birds that was due the next day. Close to tears and unable to even move, he sat among his books and papers at the kitchen table. Lamott’s father, a writer and maybe Lamott’s favorite person ever, put an arm around his son and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.” The book is peppered with such sage advice while Lamott remains the quintessential social commenter and odd man out, full of more than a few stories of her life gone wrong. What makes her writing so enjoyable is the rough terrain she’s crossed to bring it to us through glimpses of her childhood and the rest of her life. Lamott shares some of her writing techniques such as sitting at her desk and staring at a small one-inch empty picture frame when she’s out of ideas. She watches that picture frame until something comes to her. Sometimes she gets up to make a phone call or eat a snack while the picture frame sits there as a reminder, but she always goes back to her chair and that picture frame. To be a writer, she tells her students, you have to sit your butt in a chair and not get up until you’ve written something no matter how long it takes or how terrible it is, and then you have to do that again the next day and the one after that. You may write four or five pages before you get one or two good paragraphs, she says, but keep at it. She encourages her students to reveal their most desperate fears and phobias and bring them to the surface for dissection and reassembly as literary gold. Unfortunately for Lamott, her worst moments have become her best prose. Take the most horrible school lunch ever and turn it into a brilliant comedic twist of events. Never miss and opportunity to go for your own jugular, but just flash the knife, don’t really cut your throat. In Lamott’s world, writing is therapy and since she’s taken some of the heaviest stuff of her life and exposed it, often with hilarity, to the sun and wind and elements where it can be alchemized, she’s become her own therapist. Or maybe she still needs therapy, but at least there’s a great story to be told. I question whether the pain and suffering is necessary for the craft or whether it just makes the writer more observant -- nothing like fear to sharpen the senses -- and hence, more readily able to translate those observations to the rest of the world. Once you’ve mined your childhood for all the despondency and suffering you can recall along with all the nasty characters that have wreaked havoc upon you, stick them between fictional pages for everyone to see, while being careful to obscure them so ingeniously through changes of place or time or hair color that no one will recognize themselves. Also, always give the male character a small penis. It cuts down on potential libel suits. These are your the tools of the trade, says Lamott. Your heartbreak, your inability to fit in, your desire to be part of another family, relationship, community, etc., one that obviously had it better than yours, and your unlimited ability to manipulate facts. Also, never miss an opportunity to capitalize on all your accumulated crap. If you are a writer, Bird by Bird will provide you with a step-by-step guide that will boost your writing by degrees, from s***ty first drafts to publication, but my guess is that Bird by Bird will help you with your life maybe just the teeniest bit more.

This book was recommended to me by a friend, and I wish I could remember who it was so I could thank them. It's just such a wonderful book which I would recommend for everyone who loves to write and struggles with all the insecurity and doubt that comes with the territory. Lamott packs no punches when talking about how hard the writing life can be and how few people who set out on this journey will actually be successful in conventional terms. She points out that even those who are lucky enough to get published will find it's not the life-changing experience they expect it to be. While not discouraging people from following their dreams she reinforces that writing is its own reward and that exploring your own dark places and having the courage to write your truth can be incredibly enriching and empowering on its own. I learnt so much about writing and life from this book and my Kindle highlighter went into overdrive. This is a book I see myself returning to for years to come for its great wisdom and inspiration. Oh, and did I also mention it's very funny with lots of LOL moments? Here are just a few of my favourite quotes: On lacking drive: "If you find that you start a number of stories or pieces that you don't even bother finishing, that you lose interest or faith in them along the way, it may be that there is nothing at their centre about which you care passionately. You need to put yourself at their centre, you and what you believe to be true or right. The core ethical concepts in which you most passionately believe are the language in which you are writing" On writer's block: "The word block suggests you are constipated or stuck, when the truth is you are empty....If you accept the reality that you have been given - that you are not in a productive creative period - you free yourself to begin filling up again." On truth: "The great writers keep writing about the cold dark place within, the water under a frozen lake or the secluded, camouflaged hole.....Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don't have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not to go into....Tell the truth as you understand it. If you're a writer, you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - truth is always subversive." On giving: "You have to give from the deepest part of yourself and you are going to have to go on giving, and the giving is going to have to be its own reward. There is no cosmic importance to your getting something published, but there is in learning to be a giver....What your giving can do is to help your readers be braver, be better than they are, be open to the world again." On bad reviews: "I have gotten prepub reviews that said I was a treadmark on the underpants of life.....if you are a writer, it is going to happen to you." On writing as its own reward: "As a writer, one will have over the years many experiences that stimulate and nourish the spirit. These will be quiet and deep inside, however, unaccompanied by thunder or tremulous angels."

Bird by Bird is Anne Lamott’s love song to the writing process and Anne Lamott’s detailed 12-step program for surviving the craft of writing. Using a loving and humorous voice, she shares intimate details of her experience as a writer, reader and teacher. She relies heavily on humorous stories from her childhood and early writing career to illustrate the pitfalls and joys of writing, while doling out a treasure chest of practical advice to the aspiring and experienced writer. Bird by Bird is a pep talk and a how-to guide to approaching writing as a life path. I’ve read this book many times over the years, and what I always remember most is her description of her relationship with her father, who was also a writer. More than anything Bird by Bird is a memoir, and the reason it has touched so many hearts and inspired so many careers, is because Anne Lamott wears her heart and her life story on her sleeve as she shares intimate and hard won life lessons on and off the page. She writes, “One of the things that happens when you give yourself permission to start writing is that you start thinking like a writer. You start seeing everything as material.” I love this line because it reminds me to give myself permission to be, to remember, to observe and to create. Like Anne Lamott, I grew up in the shadow of loving, charming and powerful writer. I learned the craft and life of a writer from my Mom, and it wasn’t until later in life that I realized that everyone didn’t grow up that way. Reading through with a highlighter this time, I was struck by all the voices Anne Lamott brings to the page. Lammott’s voice is primarily humorous, frank and self deprecating. When she wants to evoke something profound, grave or aspirational, she tends to lean on the voices of her favorite writers throughout the cannon, which she either paraphrases or quotes directly. I really admire this technique, it’s such a great way to vary her advice, give her message more credence while keeping the book in her voice. I want to remember this. There’s a nice example of this early on when she’s talking about what inspires someone to write, she writes, “Interviewers ask famous writers why they write, and it was (if I remember correctly) the poet John Ashbery who answered, “Because I want to.” Flannery O’Connnor answered, “Because I’m good at it,” and when the occasional interviewer asks me, I quote them both.” By bringing Ashbery and O’Connor into the conversation, Lammot elevates her personal experience to a universal truth. Another one of my favorite aspects of this guide / memoir is the realistic depiction of not only the writing but the publishing experience. She debunks every single romantic notion of writing – while carefully creating her own shrine to the experience. One of my favorite moments is when she breaks down any hope of a feeling of satisfaction for a writer. She perfectly sums up the endless aching and seeking inherent to the writing life. She writes: How do you know when you’re done? This is question my students always ask. I don’t quite know how to answer it. You just do. I think my students believe that when a published writer finishes something, she crosses the last t, pushes back from the desk, yawn, stretches, and smiles. I do not know anyone who has ever done this, not even once,” This excerpt makes me laugh out loud every time I read it. I think because in my experience as a publicist / publisher I do know some authors who have done this, and those are the ones I fear most. Honest, humorous and full of passion, this book separates the die-hards from the casual writers, it’s like a litmus test and hazing, and if you make it to the end you emerge a convert.

Teachers, mentors and friends have been telling me to read Bird By Bird for years. I neglected the good advice for some reason--not that I had any delusions about being the best writer in the world, but I thought that I was past a point where I'd have to read about writing. If you aren't good at it, how can a book help you figure it out? What I've learned in Bird By Bird is that you can be born with a talent, but that doesn't mean you instinctively know how to use it. There are behaviors and trained habits that good writers practice, and Bird By Bird (a composite of Lamott's workshop and class material) walks you through them small piece by piece, or "bird by bird." These are the daily little tricks that build your observation and expression, like doing scales on the piano. Committing to writing 300 words per day, taken on in short assignments. Listening to conversation, and shaping it into dialogue. Never trusting yourself to remember life's details, and to write them down instead. She points out the physical and mental obstacles you'll face trying to incorporate them, and her empathy for our creative hang-ups and self-sabotage is a relief. She doesn't berate us for not reading enough, or not taking enough notes. She nods and accepts our mistakes and missteps, and helps us move on. Lamott comes from a strong writing background; her father was a successful writer, and she spent the majority of her life reading and writing in his footsteps. By observing a professional author live and work, and working through her own trials and errors, she has amassed a trove of hints and wisdom into the writing process. For me, reading the book was a therapeutic process. I noted areas where I needed to focus (just take on short assignments, see them through from beginning to end, ground the reader in the scene and time), and the techniques she offered were great food for thought. It was also reassuring to see the skills I'm confident in highlighted as integral, chiefly reverence and curiosity. "I honestly think in order to be a writer, you have to learn to be reverent. If not, why are you writing? Why are you here?" She stresses that "Becoming a writer is about becoming conscious." This life you should find in the joy of writing is the core of her message. Publication, recognition, fame, all that stuff that sounds good pales in comparison to this simple sensation. If, through the frustration the process and industry brings you can still feel conscious and fulfilled, then you're doing something right. Bird by Bird is a great book for writing workshops and classes. Highly recommended to give as a recommendation to students and peers!

As a newly published author with a few books to my name, I was advised to read this book, and it certainly lived up to the hype. It’s hailed as an essential read for anyone looking to uncover the realities of the publishing world. The insights it offers are both stark and enlightening, delivering a dose of truth that resonates deeply. While some of the revelations may hit hard, they’re balanced by a lightness that brings a smile to your face, making the reading experience both thought-provoking and uplifting.