Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

Not Nice is a powerful and eye opening book. It challenges the habit of people pleasing which I was or still guilty of and teaches you how to set boundaries without guilt. I have learned a lot about confidence, self-respect and speaking up for myself. It’s definitely worth reading.

I really enjoyed this book. It was just what I needed in my life at the time I bought it. I was in a relationship and my nice patterns were not serving me well in the relationship (as well as many other areas of my life). I bought the book because I heard Dr. Aziz talk on a podcast about obsessive niceness. That podcast hit me like a ton of bricks. I have a long drive to work and listened to it twice in one day and again the next day. What he talked about on his podcast and in this book resonated with me that much. This book really helps you see why being overly nice is counter productive and that we nice folk need to build some assertiveness skills. I'd say some of the biggest things that helped me were all of the prompts in the book to do your inner work. Writing down your list of "shoulds" and re-writing those stories is really powerful. If you're serious about breaking your nice patterns, check this out and be prepared to take notes! I'd say you can't truly read this book without a notebook nearby. Thank you so much Dr. Aziz. I can't say that I'm "cured" of niceness but I am a heck of a lot more on my side these days than ever before. I rarely write reviews but felt I needed to on this book.

I don't usually leave book reviews but this one has had a profound impact on my life - no exaggeration. You really need to read the book, and take the information in. I personally didn't do many of the exercises in there, but I made a clear mental note of what I was reading, and made notes on the paragraphs and quotes from the book that I thought would help me best. I ordered this book a while ago, and after reading it I completely forgot it existed. I randomly had a thought about it today and looked over the past few months and I can honestly say I feel so much more confident in myself...I went on holiday a couple of weeks back and went solo to a Jet Ski tour company, as a shy introvert, doing anything alone like this would have absolutely scared me to death a year ago, but I breezed through it. There are tons of other examples of me being more confident and generally standing up for myself. My success may not be 100% related to this book, I've been on a wild journey reading a few other books and also getting some therapy, but I genuinely thing this book was the catalyst that made me realise how bad my nice guy tendencies where, and how much more worthy I am to be treated with respect, strongly express my boundaries and be fearless when telling people my needs and how I feel. Truly amazing.

I havent finished reading it yet but so far very good every chapter truly speaks to me

Love this book. It has taught me so much. Shifted my perspective from an empowering point of view. I actually would not have thought before how much of a people pleaser I am. But this book has showed me that and gave me practical tips I can apply daily. My mother tongue is not English, but it was written in a way you could easily understand. Would recommend it to anyone who has a gut feeling, that they have people pleasing tendencies.