Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter

For parents desiring to raise their girls with godly values while avoiding the pitfalls of this culture, this book can be very helpful, especially if it is used in the context of a "holistic" family approach that includes regular church attendance and involvement and God-honoring parental examples. But please don't put it off. As the author says (page 239), "This trend is especially frightening when you consider that much of a child's personality is developed by the age of five and their identity is molded by the messages they receive from those closest to them."I must respectfully disagree with those reviewers who suggest for those who are not receptive to the idea of Christianity that the book can be helpful even if those "religious" aspects are ignored or interpreted in secular terms. Taking that approach would actually promote the perspectives the writer is specifically advocating against. It makes the parent's subjective "truth," rather than God and His inspired Word, the center of the process, which is our society's fundamental problem that the book addresses. The writer's Christian faith and reliance on God are basic to the theme of the book. As she says in the introduction: "And you pray, pray, pray and lean on God for strength and wisdom, and discernment. You can't do this in your own strength--you need the Lord's help." The book is filled with Bible citations and quotes that cannot (and should not) be easily overlooked or reinterpreted.I encourage readers to read the book with an inquiring and receptive mind and see what the author has to offer and why, rather than attempting to overlook or redefine the Christian aspects. As a society, we have accepted the culture's lie that `my way is as good as your way, as long as it feels right for me." This plays right into the culture's plans of divide and conquer. To the contrary, the author frequently refers to the indispensible importance of her supportive church community in providing first playmates and then dating prospects for her children with families they knew and that shared common (Christian) values. The mother also looked to this same community for godly women role models for her daughter as she grew older.The underlying point the writer is making is that this culture is highly organized, clever, insidious, and relentless in its attempts to destroy the very souls of the children we hold so precious. If we are to prevail, we must better understand the culture's methods and be as organized and relentless as our culture. And we must have a common objective standard. In the author's words (page 227), "Our call [as parents] is to point our daughters to a more virtuous standard of behavior as outlined by God in His Word."If we truly want to protect our children from the culture, this book, used in connection with that Word--the Bible, can be a great place to start.

This book is clearly intended for moms, but this dad learned a lot.I began reading this book on a plane during a business trip. Based on the title alone, no less than five flight attendants thanked me for reading it and expressed their wish that their fathers had read something similar. I was also approached by a couple of female passengers. None of my four flights passed without someone commenting on the book. Obviously, the topic of this book fills a need.The author is unabashedly Christian, but her information and guidance are applicable regardless of your religious tendencies. If you're uncomfortable with Christianity, just mentally substitute "grandpa" for God and "Important Psychology Textbook" for Bible, and you'll discover that it really is universal. The author espouses her ideals but is careful to explain that each family and each daughter are different, and that an overly strict "one size fits all" approach will not be successful. She also accepts that every parent is imperfect, having made their own mistakes while growing up (and likely continuing to make mistakes). She admits her own mistakes and is very open about the abortion she had as a young woman. Obviously, this is not a woman who would disown her daughter for pre-marital sex or teen pregnancy, but she recognizes these are not the goals. This book offers great information and guidance on ways to reduce their likelihood.What opened my eyes the most was the information on the effect of media on little girls. When I look at a covermodel on a magazine, I think "Wow, she's hot." I generally take little notice of the men on magazine covers (sorry, I'm just a typical guy). However, when young girls see a covermodel, they think "Ugh, I don't look like that, so I must need to diet, wear more make-up, dress more provocatively, etc." I was also surprised at just how much teen girls measure their self worth by the attention they get from boys. Talk about a recipe for eating disorders, teen sex, etc.After reading the book (and several by Dannah Gresh on related topics), I have already begun these conversations with my daughters (7 and 5 yrs old). Before reading the books, I thought I could wait until my daughters were in their teens before having "the talk." Now I realize that there is not just "the talk," but rather many conversations that must start while they are young and must be ongoing. Just the other day, I showed my girls a magazine cover of Faith Hill and the original (before photoshop) version. They were amazed at how much "editing" was done for one of the most beautiful women in the world. They came away understanding that "nobody looks like the woman on the magazine...not even the woman on the magazine!" These conversations are just too important to risk the consequences of not having them.

This book touches on the serious misleadings of our society and how to discuss this with our daughters in a gental, non-threatening and non judgemental way. I was raised by my grandmother and wish she had the tools (this book!) to talk to me with such candid abandon. Not only does Vicky discuss the topics that need to be covered, she talks about why, how and when. She gives our children the credit of being intelligent beings that will not learn simply by being told "do the right thing" but need real evidence as to what that right thing is and how what choices they make will affect their life. The conversation leaves the child knowing that you understand they are in control to make their own decisions ultimately and that I think opens them up to listening to you and being receptive to what you have to say. Showing them that you respect them enough to explain and give discuss in the way Vicky shows, gives them reason to respect you. All in all, this is amazing insight and made me reflect on how differently things would have been for me had things been explained in such a way. My daughter is only 4 but I am already applying some of these lessons at an age-appropriate level. I will continue to do so, so these ideas are as natural to her as breathing!Whether you are a follower of Christ or not, you will agree with the values these conversations will instill in your child. GET THIS BOOK!

really important we have books like this! recommended but you may find that the strong American cultural references not so relevent. It scertainly made me think and gave may some useful guidance to talking to my 3 girls on these personal issues. If you have a real desire for you children to resist the oversexualised ego centred world we live in and encourage them to be women with inward godly beauty grounded in the love of God then this is for you.

Most of what is in this book, we might have heard before. But read in unison with one another, drives the point harder. The title says it all... read it, apply it, and we might have a healthier generation coming into maturity.

I haven't yet finished the book, but I'm already appreciating what I'm reading. In the first section about teaching our daughters about body image I was really encouraged to be very honest with my girls about what is realistic to expect from thier appearance and to also encourage any possible future sons to also not expect every girl they meet to look like what they see on magazine covers. I can't wait to see what else is in the book.

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it is really very important for parents to read and start today to teach their daughter step by step how should be the life following Jesus Christ commandment. And avoid all dangers that the media always hide. Also it helps to have self esteem to every one.