Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills
Product ID: 48517600
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For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss of dignity. Inside you’ll discover how to • bridge communication gaps • defuse power struggles • avoid the dangers of praise • enforce your message of love • build on strengths, not weaknesses • hold children accountable with their self-respect intact • teach children not what to think but how to think • win cooperation at home and at school • meet the special challenge of teen misbehavior “It is not easy to improve a classic book, but Jane Nelson has done so in this revised edition. Packed with updated examples that are clear and specific, Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you.” –Sal Severe, author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! Millions of children have already benefited from the counsel in this wise and warmhearted book, which features dozens of true stories of positive discipline in action. Give your child the tools he or she needs for a well-adjusted life with this proven treasure trove of practical advice. Review: Thoughtful and actionable - A lot of the information, you think we would/should kind of just know, but answering ourselves honestly, it's amazing how much we say to our own children, just because our parents did it to us. Reminds me of the quote "A fish doesn't realise it's in water". This book helps us take a step back (pulled out of the water), and look at our own behaviours from the perspective of a child. The book offers a great perspective of how your child can feel in different situations, and will even allow you to be honest with yourself about how you felt in similar situations as an adult or from your childhood. We have had great success with our children with this book. We have a 1 year old girl and an almost 5 year old boy that has far more repsponsibility in the house than we ever imagined, because he enjoys it. He makes his own breakfast, cracks the eggs, whisks them and knows that if he makes a mess it's OK. He's able to understand when to turn the TV by setting timers for himself, without us needing to demand he turn it off. If we get angry or annoyed, we're better at dealing with those emotions and timing out from each other until we're ready to fix it. It's OK to apologise to your children and admit when we're in the wrong. I got ratty one day and shouted at him. An hour later I hugged him an apologised and told him that I was in a grumpy mood and that I shouldn't have snapped at him, not because I wanted to forget it, but because I genuinely felt bad... it was instant forgiveness from him. He is able to now do the same, whether with us, or his friends in school. He has gone from being worried about being shouted at, to knowing it's OK to make mistakes but this book has helped us get to that point, and understand how he may feel in the moment. He feels proud of himself when he does something difficult, and we are able to encourage him entirely through positive discipline. Our daughter, although only 1 is benefitting from having parents who are able to react calmly and rationally, even when she is not. We're in the squealing phase right now, which is frustrating, but by rewarding her good behaviours, she's moving on quickly from the "bad" behaviours. A really good book, I'd highly recommend it, the birth order is an interesting read too and you will notice this in people you know, but don't go talking to them about it.... some people are (understandably) not interested in you analysing them (I mistakenly brought it up in a conversation with friends, and immediately backtracked out of it!) Not a book that you need to follow to the letter, more of a guide that you can start implementing little at a time to see the results. Thank you Dr Jane Nelson for making this information so readily avaialable and easy to digest. Review: Really Effective Book - I found this book brilliant in helping me understand my childrens behaviour. It provided clear advice on how to recognise the reasons behind a child's behaviour and offered a variety of techniques to help improve behaviour. We have seen an improvement in our children's behaviour after adopting some of these techniques and it's a good feeling to find other ways to manage behaviour when old ways don't seem to work in the long term. Our older children (aged 7 and 6) feel better understood and able to discuss with us more about their problems as a result. The guidance on family meetings has been very helpful also and our children look forward to this each week.
| Best Sellers Rank | 61,157 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) 808 in Parenting (Books) 2,582 in Psychology & Psychiatry |
| Customer Reviews | 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,596 Reviews |
M**E
Thoughtful and actionable
A lot of the information, you think we would/should kind of just know, but answering ourselves honestly, it's amazing how much we say to our own children, just because our parents did it to us. Reminds me of the quote "A fish doesn't realise it's in water". This book helps us take a step back (pulled out of the water), and look at our own behaviours from the perspective of a child. The book offers a great perspective of how your child can feel in different situations, and will even allow you to be honest with yourself about how you felt in similar situations as an adult or from your childhood. We have had great success with our children with this book. We have a 1 year old girl and an almost 5 year old boy that has far more repsponsibility in the house than we ever imagined, because he enjoys it. He makes his own breakfast, cracks the eggs, whisks them and knows that if he makes a mess it's OK. He's able to understand when to turn the TV by setting timers for himself, without us needing to demand he turn it off. If we get angry or annoyed, we're better at dealing with those emotions and timing out from each other until we're ready to fix it. It's OK to apologise to your children and admit when we're in the wrong. I got ratty one day and shouted at him. An hour later I hugged him an apologised and told him that I was in a grumpy mood and that I shouldn't have snapped at him, not because I wanted to forget it, but because I genuinely felt bad... it was instant forgiveness from him. He is able to now do the same, whether with us, or his friends in school. He has gone from being worried about being shouted at, to knowing it's OK to make mistakes but this book has helped us get to that point, and understand how he may feel in the moment. He feels proud of himself when he does something difficult, and we are able to encourage him entirely through positive discipline. Our daughter, although only 1 is benefitting from having parents who are able to react calmly and rationally, even when she is not. We're in the squealing phase right now, which is frustrating, but by rewarding her good behaviours, she's moving on quickly from the "bad" behaviours. A really good book, I'd highly recommend it, the birth order is an interesting read too and you will notice this in people you know, but don't go talking to them about it.... some people are (understandably) not interested in you analysing them (I mistakenly brought it up in a conversation with friends, and immediately backtracked out of it!) Not a book that you need to follow to the letter, more of a guide that you can start implementing little at a time to see the results. Thank you Dr Jane Nelson for making this information so readily avaialable and easy to digest.
N**Y
Really Effective Book
I found this book brilliant in helping me understand my childrens behaviour. It provided clear advice on how to recognise the reasons behind a child's behaviour and offered a variety of techniques to help improve behaviour. We have seen an improvement in our children's behaviour after adopting some of these techniques and it's a good feeling to find other ways to manage behaviour when old ways don't seem to work in the long term. Our older children (aged 7 and 6) feel better understood and able to discuss with us more about their problems as a result. The guidance on family meetings has been very helpful also and our children look forward to this each week.
A**I
A must read for 21st century parents.
As a parent I felt frustrated because my toddler did not just do everything I demanded and I tried to accomplish this through endless promises of rewards and threats to withhold those same rewards. Needless to say, it did not work. I implemented the principles advocated by this book as I read through it and I reaped the benefits from the first page. This book will work for all parents who do not wish to rule through fear and punishment. It will tell you how to have a relationship with your children based on mutual respect and love.
F**E
This book helps immediately...
I have had a much happier and more enjoyable relationship with my daughter (only child) since beginning to read this book and at time of writing I am only half way through. Reading Positive Discipline helps you and your kid/s to feel as though you are 'on the same side' and as though you are improving together rather than having to have power struggles all the time with one of you coming out the 'winner'. The shortest message of the book is to 'empower rather than discourage'... And I would have thought that I could have worked that out for myself and implemented it on a daily basis.... but this book points out inevitable parental weaknesses and has helped me to enable and reinforce the "empower, don't discourage" approach ten fold. Most of all I want our child to have good self-esteem and problem-solving capabilities, and this book will help us to give her those qualities. I am not a regular book reviewer but I thought this book was worth the effort as I am certain most families will benefit from reading it. I only give it four stars rather than five as - here and there - there are just a few things I don't entirely agree with but for the most part it's brilliant.
M**A
Amazing
This book is life changing. U can also use generally in life with any difficult ppl as u will realise that they like toddlers
U**S
Brilliant
I have read many books - I have a child with special needs, but this book made so much sense and I thought it was simple brilliant. A must for every parent to read. It turns some things that you have learnt on its head, and it will answer other questions that you couldn't before. Great book - highly recommend you buy it.
J**G
Highly recommended.
Best parenting book I've read so far. Wish I had read it or the earlier ages books when my now six year old was pushing all my buttons. I could relate to something on nearly every page and it made me recognise my own behaviour in the cycle of tantrums. It was a revelation to consider that time outs didn't have to be in a room without toys but in fact talking to a child when they have calmed down in their own safe place was far more effective.
N**E
... but the points and advice are valid and very useful!
Very aimed at the american market but the points and advice are valid and very useful!
J**S
Muy recomendable
Muy práctico y con muchos ejemplos para empezar a utilizar la disciplina positiva.
U**1
Book is not original
Book is not original
A**I
illuminante
Avevo scaricato la app che consiglio per rapida consultazione, il libro è un po' lungo ma pienoni esempi in cui é facile ritrovarsi. Il metodo è efficace e consiglio una lettura anche sulla negoziazione che pare spesso essere la chiave per la comunicazione efficace con il bambino. Peccato non ci sia in italiano
A**N
Great resource for parents!
I think this book is a beautiful guide for anyone that wants to help their children develop responsibility with love and encouragement, not through strict rules that can be hurtful. Highly recommended!
C**E
Excelente
Excelente libro super útil
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