Lost Without My Daughter

I decided to read this book after watching the movie. When I was watching the movie from the perspective of 2025 I saw how they portrayed the Iranian people and I could see the racism. I do think this story offered another perspective. I find the entire story quite a tragedy that touched many peoples lives and will have an effect for several generations.

I read Not Without My Daughter years ago when it first came out and, at that time, believed the whole story. Re-reading years later with a more mature eye, Betty's contempt for Iranians is obvious, despite her claims to the contrary, which makes me doubt every word in that book was gospel. She went out of her way to look for all of the bad in Iran and Iranians, and none of the good. Nor do I believe every word of Dr Mahmoody. His descriptions of Iranian life, history and his issues with the government were very interesting and I did enjoy the book. As far as the real truth of what happened in the marriage, only he and Betty truly know.

After reading Betty's book and Mahtob's book, I felt Sayed deserved to have his side read, too. I'm sorry to say that his story was not believable. He paints a portrait of Betty that is nonsensical and implausible. For example, when in Betty's book she describes issues with their marriage and times that Moody became depressed or angry with situations in their life, Moody describes them as issues caused by a very unstable Betty. He said that Betty ran off on three occasions, seemingly without cause and without purpose. He said the last time she left she withdrew $200k from their savings in Texas and ran off to Michigan. Supposedly when Moody sought an explanation she came back and announced she was pregnant. Moody claims that the United States creates terrible, untrue stereotypes when portraying Iranians. Then he goes on to do exactly that when referring to Americans in his book. Moody claims that Betty's father beat her mother. That her father was lazy and lived to sit in his easy chair and pass gas and drink beer. Moody supposedly once witnessed Betty's father through a plate of food at Betty's mother, breaking the plate and making a mess, simply because the food was cold. Moody claimed that Betty's first husband beat her and that after she married Moody she thought nothing of sending her sons to their father, who also beat them. Moody also claimed that Betty's sister was marrying her high school sweetheart while still in high school. He was "shocked" to see her coming down the aisle seven months pregnant. Moody talked about how everyone in Betty's family -which at one point he claims is small and another point is very large- supposedly all get together to fanatically watch wrestling. And Moody did not reserve the stereotypes only for Betty's family. Apparently, everyone in America speaks like an uneducated hillbilly. At least according to Moody we do. I could continue with the lies and the stereotypes, as they are plentiful in this book. I think Sayed Mahmoody didn't have an editor, as the grammatical mistakes in this book are plentiful. Towards the end of the book, I felt that Moody could have easily made up stories to garner sympathy from the reader. Most especially if he imagined Mahtob might potentially read his book some day. Such as the supposed incident that he said brought him out of his depression after Betty and Mahtob left, the nearby bombing of a children's birthday party. Sayed Mahmoody actually claims in his book that going to Iran was Betty's idea, and that she intended that they try it for one year. He also claims that at one point in Iran, it was Betty who hit him, and that he never hit Betty. I don't regret buying this book. I do feel it is important to listen to all sides of a story and I did find Moody's book an interesting read. In the end, however, I find his side of the story implausible and, at times, sadly ridiculous.

I did not get the book I wanted, but a book named Lost Without my daughterS, I looked at it and it is horrible. I wanted "Lost without my daughter", to take on vacation to read. We are now back. The book I received is a religious tract that I totally disagree with. I read two pages and gave up, because I realized it was not the book I thought I ordered.

i got this book 2 weeks before the due date. stat to read. OMG . this men is a biggest lier , what you ever saw. telling us: BETTY was able to go home. yes but with out her daughter. this book is great but a big big MAN, who never said the truth. the seller is great, the book is super. recommend everybody.. thank you: IRENE

I watched the movie and read Mahtob’s book and decided to read what Moody had to say. Right away it seemed unbelievable. Seems like he was twisting the story and lying to make himself look better. There were a lot of facts about Iran that belonged in another book. The premise of the book was to refute what Betty and Mahtob had to say. I did feel a little sorry for him at the end of the book but I still didn’t believe him. His editor could have done a better job. There were misspelled words, missing words and words/terms used incorrectly.

It was good to hear his side of story, believed Betty more than Sayed

In my opinion, Syed Mahmoody wrote Lost Without my Daughter to refute the book Not Without my Daughter. I find it hard to believe the situation that Betty Mahmoody found herself in as a prisoner of her husband could be considered laughable as stated by Dr. Mahmoody. Having read both books, I had the most sympathy with Betty Mahmoidy and Mahtob, her daughter. Betty could easily have left Iran but would not leave without her daughter. He forfeited his rights to his family by his overbearing and violent demeanor toward his wife and daughter. Dr. Mahmoody wrote Lost Without My Daughter and when Mahlob grew up she could have chosen to resume contact with her father, but she chose not to and never saw him again until his death in 2010. I imagine the bad overrode the good. She was placed in the middle of marital dissection until she was six years old, which left her torn, angry and bitter. Read both books and judge for yourself. If you are a mother, does your heart break for Betty & Mahtob? Could the change of culture be bridged by force?

It is really good to hear the side of the story before judging someone .... Who to believe .... Definitely worth the read

After reading "Not Without My Daughter" by Betty Mahmoody, I was interested to read her husband's account. It was to be expected that Dr. Mahmoody's view of the events would be somewhat different, but having read both books I have the impression that they were writing about completely different people and events. Betty married Dr. Mahmoody in the USA and they had a normal married life. He was a well-off doctor. Then came the revolution in Iran, where Dr. Mahmoody's family still lived; the Shah was ousted and Ayatolla Khomeini took over and installed a strictly islamic state. After a few years Dr. Mahmoody suggested taking Betty and their daughter Mahtob on a fortnight's holiday to Iran to meet his family there. Betty was not very happy about the idea -- she had probably heard of innumerable muslims who took their western wives home for a holiday which turned out to be forever. Some of the wives succeeded in fleeing and writing a book about it. So Betty insisted that her husband sware on the Koran that after two weeks they would return to the USA. After two weeks Dr Mahmoody informed her that she was now in Iran until she died. One of the family's relatives was a muslim cleric, and on a visit she challenged her husband about his vow on the Koran. His reply: "Are you a muslim?" When she replied in the negatve, he said that in this case his vow did not apply to her. The muslim cleric made no effort to correct this interpretation. Dr. Mahmoody made sure that Betty was unter observation night and day; she was not allowed to use the telephone or go anywhere by herself. Betty, who knew her husband well, knew that he would not dedicate his whole live to keeping up such a stingent observation over a long time, and eventually she made contacts and arranged for her and Mahtob to be guided out of the country so that they could return to the USA. In his book Dr. Mahmoody admitted that Betty had got the better of him. By this time his work permit for the USA had expired, so that he had no possibility of following her. It's interesting to read Dr. Mahmoody's account. It seems that many muslims have imbued Islam so completely that they feel it is normal for a man to beat his wife and rule over her completely, which could explain why his account differs so radically from his wife's. When Betty's book became a best-seller and was later filmed, the story hit Iran (and probably many muslim communities) like a bomb, and Dr. Mahmoody was summoned up before the islamic authorities to explain why he hadn't kept his wife under control, so that she could escape and publish such "lies". Dr. Mahmoody could only extricate his head from the noose by untertaking to teach a class in the university and show the students that the film in particular had been badly made and contained many inconsistencies. Dr. Mahmoody's book glosses over his marriage and deals in detail about his unsuccessful attempts to make contact with Betty and Mahtob. A large part of the book deals with the political situation in Iran over the years since Khomeini, which is quite informative. I am left with the impression that the author is so indoctrinated by Islam that he has a very distorted view of realities. His problem is that there are so many books on the market about women's experiences with muslim husbands that one must necessarily take his assertions with a large pinch of salt.

Es el marido de la autora de "No sin mi hija" y padre de la niña cuya madre fue llevada a Iran y retenida alli contra su voluntad. La hija a su vez ha escrito un libro en el que refrenda a su madre y contradice a su padre.

I was fascinated by both Betty's story and Moody's story, and would love to know which one was the truth - I suspect that it was somewhere in the middle as it usually is. There were details in this book which made it seem that Betty was no angelic figure of motherhood - for example, abandoning her adopted children to a distant aunt. She also comes across as materialistic. I also think that Betty was perhaps lying when she said that Moody's house in Iran was dirty - they were a rich family with a maid, so i doubt this would be true. On the other hand, Betty's descriptions of Moody's tempers do seem to ring true. Both of these books are worth reading, and fair minded people should read both to make up their own minds.

We have only heard one side of the story for the most part. Having the father give his side was enlightening. Which story is true? Only the people involved in the situation know (knew). In any event, it is best to get both sides of a story. Even then, we must realize that as readers, we are not in the position to pass judgment for it is is only the individuals themselves who know the truth of their situation.